Honesty… Best Practice? Really??

Honesty is a complicated concept. To say or not to say.

It’s not always about answering honestly what’s being asked of you, it’s also about having concern for other’s feeling and thoughts.

If you don’t want your friend to hate you, then don’t say “isn’t that shirt a little too tight?” It is honesty, in a kind manner, but if you’re friend isn’t open to the criticism, even though you mean well, it’s a horrible idea.

I was friends with a girl, once, whose family was very honest with one another. We would all sit at the dinner table, enjoying a family dinner (with me as the special guest), talking about every one’s days at work/school and the father says to the daughter, 

Well you do kind of look 2 months pregnant 

Being a third party, I just sat there, taking in all of the awkwardness.

I mean, this is where the line is blurred. The dad was speaking an honest opinion about the daughter. Although it was an inaccurate description (since you can’t look 2 months pregnant), it was inappropriate. Being an outsider, there is nothing I could have done or said in that situation.

Thankfully, the story isn’t over. The daughter who got that kind of description placed down on her that evening, took a big bite of her spaghetti and said, 

Mmmm, will feed my baby. 

Later on, she played if off like it was no big deal, but (since the daughter was my friend) she also mentioned this in other more serious settings. Saying, 

Did I tell you what my dad called me earlier this week, it was kind of mean 

The problem is that I am a normal size girl and she was thinner than me… did I not mention that before?

I start to wonder, this will probably haunt my friend for a very long time, and what does honesty really get people. Where is the line between opinion and truth? Truth and intent? The only solution I can bring myself to is, sometimes your opinion doesn’t matter. Sometimes my opinion doesn’t matter. And sometimes we just have to let people figure things out life for themselves. Unless it’s a life threatening… whatever… just leave it alone. It’s much better to build the relationship than to tear it down.

The great thing about relationships is that if both parties want to build a relationship up, then forgiveness can be a part of that and it can be done. I don’t know what will happen with my friend and her dad, but I hope for the best. Maybe her dad will see he was being hurtful and apologize. Sometimes apologies are magic.

Going Domestic: 5 Tips On How to Grocery Shop

Grocery shopping can be a nightmare, especially when you would rather finish that last episode of How I Met Your Mother, or go out and have a few drinks. But, if you are a young adult, trying to make ends meet, it is a necessity. You’re mother isn't always going to be there for you.

If you’re like me, you worked at a grocery store and your mother made you shop for the whole family every week (more than once a week). She would call you right as you’re leaving work and say, 

“Caylinn, do you mind picking up a few things for dinner tonight? Here’s the list…” 

Then she would go on to tell you a list of 20 items, only one of the items actually geared towards dinner food.

Needless to say (but I’ll say it any way), I have become an expert at grocery shopping. But, I am willing to share my wealth of knowledge with you.

I am not getting paid for saying this, but Winn Dixie (if you live Florida) is the place to go. I don’t mean to put down other elitist grocery stores, but seriously, it’s better. Here’s why…

1. BUY ONE GET ONE.  BOGO is an amazing invention. It makes it easy for every person to shop the sales. I mean, if you have a freezer you can buy 2 huge things of chicken, then, when you’re ready to eat it, you can defrost it in the morning, and when you get home, stick that chicken in the oven for 30 minutes and you’re ready to go.
2. Shop the sales.  If you go to the store ready to buy a list of planned dinners that’s great! However, if you are looking to save some money, you have to be flexible. Go down the aisles and shop the sales. You might get lucky and get a meal for half the original retail price.
3. Do the math. I know it can get incredibly frustrating, but taking the extra 2 minutes to decide the difference between 2 for $5 and 3 for $10 is well worth the effort in the long run.
4. Don’t be fooled by the “sales” price.  If it says 2 for $5, you don’t have to buy 2. If you need only one, buy one. It’s only the BOGO that you need to buy in pairs. This is a sales tactic that works on many. Then you just have extra food sitting around taking up room in your tiny pantry.
5. Generic Brands.  Usually, believe it or not, generic brands are made by the same company as the name brand. In Winn Dixie’s case, they have their own manufacturing plant; however, it is a very healthy, non contaminated environment. If you are a health nut, like me, this is very important. If you don’t care, think about this, generic brands are 20-50% less than name brand items. They might not look as fancy, but they taste just as good and are usually better for you.

If you are not a grocery store advocate, and these tips are just too much, consider these numbers. I spend, on average, $75 a week for two people to eat all of their meals at home, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, everything. Before I lived on my own, I usually at out at least once a day when I worked. It was easier not to bring my lunch/dinner. I spent an average of $8 a day on food. Since I worked or went to school every day in the week, I ate out once every day… that adds up to $56 a week. So, while living on my own, I decided to only eat out it would cost me $168 a week. So, by me shopping for all of my meals, and never going hungry… I save myself $93 a week. Honestly, think about what you can do with an extra $93 a week! Think about it!

That’s why you should cherish these tips, save yourself some money, and go to Busch Gardens, moneybags.

HI MOM...

My mom and I

Who doesn’t love their mother? I mean, some mothers are harder to deal with than others, but a child will always love his/her mother, it can’t be helped. However, being a young maturing adult begs the question of what kind of relationship to have with your mother.

I’d like to preface this by saying, I am no expert on relationships, but I think I have a damn good relationship with my mother, so, here we go.

My mother and her mother have an interesting and dynamic relationship that dates back through many difficult memories of misunderstandings and communication errors. To this day, even though they speak to each other and are kind to each other, I believe both of them have trouble with the other one. To be more specific, I think both of them still question whether the other one loves them or not. Not good.

Thankfully, my mother refused to continue that cycle and made sure that I knew I was loved every day. In fact, she did this with all five of the children she has, plus all of our past and present (and, I’m sure, future) friends.

Giving you, the reader, this tidbit of information, I would hope to portray that it has been a difficult year moving out and separating myself from my mother. After graduation I had a difficult time finding what I wanted to do with the next 1 – 5 years of my life, much less the rest of my life. My mother had a lot of very good ideas and suggestions, and one in particular was going into the military. However, I, to this day, cannot wrap my head around joining the armed forces. This has been an ongoing battle, if you will, between my mother and I, and when I had nowhere to go except steady at Staples, she decided it was time to push a little harder.

I resisted, and resisted and resisted and resisted, until finally I sat down with her and listened to what she had to say. Why she kept pushing me. I was so busy fighting with her that I neglected to realize that she was trying to help me with the only solution she could think of. All I needed to do was communicate with her, express to her my concerns and beliefs on going into the military and where I wanted to go. She had no idea the dreams I had because I never told her.

My mother is very precious to me, as I’m sure most mothers are, and just because I disagree with my mom on some things doesn’t mean I don’t have a tremendous amount of respect for her. She has so many experiences under her belt and I will always listen, and then make my own choice.

What’s the moral of this story, you ask? Well, I hope you find your own moral, but mine is that it’s ok to disagree with my mother as long as I continue to listen. That’s what being a good “grown-up” daughter is about.

Hello real world... what now?

From managing money, setting up a house/apartment and choosing healthy and cheap food to surviving at work without doing a drop kick at someone’s head (figuratively… of course), I can share my knowledge of how to survive once out from behind the protection of Mommy and Daddy dearest.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am no expert at living life, but I’ve realized there are lots of little things I do that make my life easier, that my friends, and many people I know, do not know about.

 A little about me before I begin? Ok sure! Thanks for asking.

I’m 25, and I live with my little sister in a small 2 bedroom apartment in Tampa Florida. I am the oldest of 5 kids, (so I do know how to change a diaper), I work 40 hours a week at Staples and, if I can fit it in, I work 5-10 extra hours a week at Party City.

I have my bachelor’s degree in English Professional/Technical Writing and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Don’t get me wrong, you won’t catch me not moving forward, but when I go home at night, and write in my journal, I realize that I’m just going to go. I have the utmost confidence though, that I will find something wonderful to look forward to every day. Maybe writing to think unknown, arbitrary audience is exactly what I need.

 I am excited about the prospects of this project as I leap into something new and unexpected.